The Lion King is Disney's 32nd classic, considered from 1994 to 2003 the highest-grossing animated movie in history before being surpassed by Finding Nemo. A landmark of a certain decade and the awesome icon of the Disney Renaissance. It was praised for making hundreds of children cry unconsolably while watching and continously sing a song about giving a middle finger to their problems.
The story needs no introduction. Everybody has memorized it by heart and fondly remembers its strong characters: Simba, a young prince who must choose between living a pleasure life or a more responsible one; Scar, Simba's evil and wicked uncle who wants to subjugate the pride; Rafiki, a wisecracking shaman whose pasttime is giving people a right way; and Mufasa, the dick-head king who kickstarted his own son's predicaments.
WHAT THE F(bleep)????!!!! BULL F(bleep)ITY SAP!!! MUFASA WAS A GOOD KING!!! HE RULED THE PRIDE WITH RESPONSIBILITY, BEING GUIDED BY THE GREATEST KINGS OF THE PAST!!!! HE TEACHED SIMBA TO BE A NICE, GOOD FELLA JUST LIKE HIM!!!! GOT IT???!!!
Yes, I've got it. Clear as crystal, if we accept the movie's dickish point-of-view about what makes a good king. Personally, I only can see in Mufasa's regime a bunch of ass dickeries in the final countdown to his comeuppance. But first, let's see the movie!
The film starts with my favorite song "Circle of Life (Nants Ingonyama)", where every single animal in the kingdom, with no exceptions, from the smallest to the biggest, through water, earth and air, goes to the Pride Rock to witness the birth of the king's baby called Simba. Even though the baby was a lion cub and nearly all of the subjects available in the ceremony were lion food, that made no difference as they accompanied all the baptism rite and curved themselves to the king, demonstrating their respect. All dem animals.
Except one.
Scar, Mufasa's baby brother. He wasn't on the ceremony and would rather have fun in his isolated cove, stalking rodents for breakfast.
Wait a mo. Is that so? The king's brother won't live in the Pride Rock with the king? He lives in a cove on who knows where and snags rodents for breakfast as if he was a house species who is 30 times smaller???!!! What the f(bleep)ing life does Scar have?
No matter what, cuz the king was there to have it out with him. Why the hell isn't the prince's uncle the first in line? "But I used to be the first in the line until the hairball was born." Scar was jealous of Mufasa. An explicitly disturbing envy of the power his brother once had. And he lost his $#&t when he was told that he was no longer the throne's heir.
Now we move to Zazu. He's a notorious douchebag who has no problems on treating Scar like a baby and reminding him of how Mufasa trumped him by birth order. Zazu knows that Scar can't do $#%t against him as he has Mufasa as his own buttguard and even suggests that Mufasa turn Scar into a carpet to punch whenever he enters home and later to punch it again. Mufasa chuckles at the idea.
An insignificant prick abusing the poor British kitty cuz he knows he has the king's protection.
The arguments takes a heat when Scar makes fun of Mufasa who gets pissed off, but Scar calms his brother down as he took the lions' intelligence while Mufasa took their strength.
Did you notice how Scar is much more thinner than Mufasa? Good sign of different lifestyles that both siblings have while being from the same lineage.
Some time has passed and Simba is now a grown cub. He wakes his dad up so he can learn everything about the Pridelands. Mufasa shows Simba everything that means to be king. Being a king means protecting the circle of life and understanding the importance and balance of all the world's animal species, from the little ant to the great anthelope. "But dad, don't we eat the anthelopes?" Simba asks, noticing on first sight the system's flaws, but Mufasa rebuffs: "Yes, Simba. But let me explain: when we die, our body becomes grass and anthelopes eat grass. So, we're all connected."
The good example of how harmonic and fair for all species is the precious circle of life.
But anthelopes don't kill lions to turn them into grass. They need luck to make it naturally happen. Those guys go kill anthelopes and tell the victim's families to relax, that everything will be alright and that when we die of old age in one decade they'll become a bunch of grass that everyone can eat.
Explaining to Simba why is so cool to kill and eat his subjects, he teaches his son to hunt, using his ass monkey Zazu for torture porn. Mufasa leaves Zazu in an embarassing pose, Simba kicks his ass and Mufasa laughs, a gentle way of showing an hierarchy between a king and his loyal advisor.
Also, Mufasa explains that everything the sun touches is their kingdom and, for an Apex predator he is, there's nothing that isn't his domain. But the place untouched by the sun that Simba sees is the Elephant Graveyard, home of the hyenas.
This is the place Mufasa taught Simba to never explore.
Obviously, the concepts of "everything connected", "from the ant to the anthelope" and "protecting all species and thus the circle of life" didn't sit well to the hyenas, because they're secluded into the Elephant Graveyard so that the good lions could feast over the resources for themselves, selfishly.
The Elephant Graveyard is a dark and lifeless hell with zero food, where the hyenas live an unpleasant life. But it's not the reason why the hyenas hate the lions. Their real predicament is that they have no right for food which the other animals have.
The fearsome trio: Shenzi, Banzai and Ed
Scar wisely encourages Simba to trespass the hyenas' domain so he can prove his bravery to his dad, which the young prince gladly has no problem in doing, taking his best friend Nala on the ride. Simba couldn't have a more bastard uncle.
Nala is the only female cub from the pride. As a result, naturally, they're engaged, which won't sit well with the both. However, they're BFFs and don't want to merely talk about it.
Simba, Nala and their respective mothers Sarabi and Sarafina
The pridelands are ruled by the pride made from several lionesses and only two male lions: Mufasa, the king; and his brother Scar, who lives far away from the lionesses. It's no wonder that fans and the consensus view them as siblings, not neccessarily in blood.
This is because real-life lions mate with as much lionesses as they can. It's not that this film should be accurate, but it wasn't meant to. Mufasa allegedly married every single lioness in the pride, in addition to his wife.
But it's time to go back to the story. Simba and Nala have arrived in the Elephant Graveyard and confront the hyenas.
This place won't be as fun as Simba would suggest.
The hyenas berate Simba over how much they hate lions, specially Mufasa. They nearly maul Simba and Nala, but Mufasa has come just in time to save the day.
Mufasa furiously scolds the trio of misfits, scares them away and takes Simba home, angry with his son over making a dick out of himself and endangering Nala in the process. In order to teach Simba a lesson, he tells him that the stars are the great kings of the past overseeing the Pridelands and that he'll one day become one of those stars and that Simba will be a king. He finishes by telling Simba that he will always rely on them, including Mufasa himself.
Yes, cuz every single celestial body is actually every single ancestor of Mufasa. The throne is a divine power and the fact his father passed and was turned into a star and that the anthelope deceases and becomes nothing but junk food is a living evidence.
Meanwhile, the hyenas are whining about Mufasa and his abusiveness, only to be greeted by Scar who the hyenas are friends with as he himself is a misfit as well. He even supplys food to the hungry hyenas.
Scar has always pandered to the hyenas by giving them food and respect, so they would view him as their equal. Then, as he starts chit-chatting about a coup d'etát and the hyenas helping him slaughter Mufasa and Simba, they won't hesitate as they all spite Mufasa.
So, the plan is traced. The hyenas do a war dance and, in mere seconds, they get what it takes to kill a great king.
OCCUPY THE GORGE!!!
Despite the joke on the famous Occupy Wall Street movement, this wildebeest stampede scene gives me headscratchers. Every single animal is intelligent and smart and then from nowhere pops an endless load of asshats sprinting so instinctively that they're oblivious to the king in their way. As headscratching as it has always been, it's still not bizarre to the point of hindering the movie nor one of the most impacting scenes of animation and movie history.
Mufasa evades the stampede and sees Scar. He pleads his brother to save him, which showcases genuine innocene in part from the monarch. Having been already despised, hated, trashed, scrutinized, vilified and threatened enough by his brother, always saving the day by physically enforcing himself with roars and reminding that he's the strongest, now hanging in the cliff, weakened, does he really expect that Scar is willing to save his ass just to return to his cove, feasting over rodents?
I HATE YOU, MUFASA!!!
The king is dead!!! Are you happy now????
*insert Goofy holler*
Now Simba believes that everything is his own fault when Scar lies to him that his roar caused the wildebeest stampede and banishes him as a punishment, just like what Oedipus did in the Greek tragedy.
Simba has no guts to return to the Pridelands after unwillingly mutilating his dad. So, he run away only to stumble with Timon, the meerkat, and Pumbaa, the warthog, a couple of idealistic wanderers who take Simba as their protegée.
But let's see Mufasa's memorial service carefully. It's just the lionesses who were allowed to attend the funeral? What happened to the lion food masses who curved themselves to the young prince? They didn't need to say goodbye now that the king won't kill them anymore. No one other than Mufasa's personal buddies or mates has attended the memorial service. This showcases the love and condolences given by his subjects.
Aw, c'mon. My memorial event will get more masses than this. And I ain't no king of a nation.
In his eulogy, Scar takes over the throne and announces his own social policy which involves both lions and hyenas sharing everything the sun touches and the same food and drinks, regardless of the species.
And the pride doesn't take the news lightly.
Meanwhile, Timon and Pumbaa teach Simba the Hakuna Matata philosophy, which means living a carefree life full of pleasures and with no worries. A life that consists on pretending that the past never came to be and never concerning the future, and do nothing but eat insects, nap in the swing and live a loose life. This could be translated to "living with a load of cocksucking hippie wanderers who never had a job in the life".
"Slimy, yet satisfying."
Overall, I found really positive that the film featured two guys raising Simba with no need for consequences. Even though Timon and Pumbaa were never this gay, many people still whine about the concept of a kid growing up in a family with no father and no mother. Notoriously, Simba got two dads (three, counting Mufasa).
Unfortunately, while Simba was still presumed dead, the kingdom fell into disrepair because both the lionesses and the hyenas overhunted. So, by forcing the outskirts animals to hunt together with those from the Pride Rock, he destroyed the social pyramid and now there's no food nor water. This is the movie's core message: the socially excluded people shouldn't be included or they would steal the well-positioned ones' basic rights. And by allowing everyone to eat and drink in the Pridelands, Scar caused the drought.
But the biggest problem is that Scar refuses to admit that all of that is his fault, trying to either deny the lack of food and water in the Pridelands or explain that it's not his concern from start and that he can't fight nature back.
The kingdom is entirely f(bleep)ed up, desperate for someone to put the bastards in their rightful place to right the f(bleep)ing wrongs.
But where's the rightful king?
In a burp contest!!!
Simba, Timon and Pumbaa are watching the stars. Timon calls them fireflies who are stuck in the sky. Pumbaa, on the other hand, sees them as gas balls that blew up miles away from above. In the end, Simba sees those stars as the kings of the past who are watching over them.
Actually, Pumbaa's theory is the most plausible one, but Timon's the one who's right. Regardless of whoever is right, Simba ends up being the wrong as he thinks that cosmic things happen in his bloody lineage and Timon and Pumbaa make fun of their protegée over this. Embarassed, Simba refuses to believe this.
But his Hakuna Matata lifestyle will take a new direction when Pumbaa is nearly devoured by a rogue lioness who is revealed to be Simba'ssister childhood friend Nala after Simba fights her to save the duo.
But his Hakuna Matata lifestyle will take a new direction when Pumbaa is nearly devoured by a rogue lioness who is revealed to be Simba's
After all, Scar was supposed to exile Nala when she refused to be his mate. That scene got scrapped for a good reason as it seemed too vile by having this tyrant committing sexual harassment. As a result, the movie never explained why she left the Pridelands. Fortunately, the answer was revealed in the stage musical adaptation's sequence "The Madness of King Scar", which is Scar's own sad song.
Simba's happy to see his girlfriend again, introduces her to his wisecracking mentors and they both make it out through the entire day, preventing Simba from expressing his guilt over Mufasa's death and Nala from warning him about how Scar's social policy destroyed the entire kingdom, killing everyone with starvation.
I'll take this as show-not-tell.
But as it progressed...
They finally f(bleep) each other.
Curiously, Disney has already admitted that this is officially a sex scene, meaning that Simba and Nala are the first Disney characters to have sex in a Disney classic and, on the top of this, a G-rated one!!!
That fucking face!
Another similarity with Oedipus!
But after the sex, Nala decided to tell his brother lover to return to Pride Rock to restore the circle of life, so the lions could rise once again. Simba explains that only Scar should have done the job.
Nala is angry at Simba for having become a self-centered asshole and they argue, with Nala claiming that he should have become more like Mufasa.
Simba then storms off, cursing about how wrong he thinks that Nala is and that he should become more relaxed and let Scar shit on everything, until he stumbles with Rafiki, a babboon who used to be Mufasa's best friend and wise mentor. He reveals that Mufasa survived.
He takes Simba to the magic waterhole to prove it. Mufasa now lives in Simba. Everything that made Mufasa a great king is in his son's blood, so he can return to heal the Pridelands.
Also, Simba stares at Mufasa's ghost in the sky, telling him the same goddamn shit. Mufasa scolds his son for forgetting who he is and who his father was, as he was chosen to follow his dad's footsteps and continue his legacy. Top of the world!!!
As a result, Simba decides to go back to take over the throne.
That bastard didn't even bid farewell to Timon, Pumbaa and Nala who became marooned in the jungle wondering Simba's whereabouts. Rafiki reveals to them that "the king has returned." Nala explains Simba's personal predicaments to Timon and Pumbaa who learn out what's the fuzz on their baby.
They eventually join him as "if it's Simba's concern, it's our concern."
Simba has returned to the Pridelands and witnesses the empire's shitty and tasteless state. The time for reconquering has come.
Once he returns, Simba's mistaken for Mufasa's ghost, but they later find out that it's Simba and Scar fears the consequences. As a dickish bastard, Scar warns that he can't step down because the hyenas believe him to be the rightful king, though Nala claims the contrary, trumping the hyenas' belief.
In retaliation, Scar scams the lionesses by claiming Simba to be Mufasa's murderer, an homicidal crime that Simba admits. The lionesses are hopeless to see the prince getting tried, convicted and executioned for the death of his own father.
But Scar is the bad guy. What makes an evil villain hateable is that he ends up making an ass out of himself when he's on the verge of getting whatever he wants. So, desperate to kill his nephew with none of Simba's buddies moving an ass to save him, the evil uncle sadistically admits to Simba that he himself slaughtered Mufasa.
And Simba pounces him in the neck, making him confess it to everyone.
Then, everybody helps Simba kick Scar and the hyenas' asses, now that he's labelled innocent.
The brawl between lion and hyenas starts.
Later, Simba outnumbers Scar who, as an cowardly lion, takes Mufasa's death on the hyenas as they kickstarted the wildebeest stampede which in turn killed Simba's father. Simba doesn't give a f%&# to his uncle and tosses him from the cliff to where the hyenas engulf him for selfishly misblaming them.
After Scar's bloody just desserts, Simba proclaims himself as king, making his cheerleaders out of the lionesses who helped him in the final battle and therefore those he holds dear, making him officially a king.
This will be a good regime to the lionesses and the entire kingdom, therefore.
With the hyneas back at the Elephant Graveyard, grass is suddenly reborn in the Pridelands, water goes back and the animals who are usually lion food return to bow to Simba and Nala's baby.
And Timon and Pumbaa become the new court members cuz nepotism is hip in the Pride Rock.
Sure, The Lion King is one of the best Disney animated classics of all time, one of the gems in Disney's animation crown and a landmark in animation and movie history, but it's one of those overrated Disney movies, not that Mufasa is the real villain at all, but because the film's point of view about what it takes to be a good king is a pile of warthog $#&%. Being a good king is ruling for the sake of the lions and believe that, as long as the lions don't suck, the balance will stay naturally.
Literally, what made Mufasa a good king and Simba a good prince is the load of lionesses always on their side, despite the hyenas being the majority who were their detractors. What didn't help were the anthelopes and the animals who happened to be the lions' adored victims. Didn't they mind about Mufasa as a king?
According to Mufasa, to be a king is to have the circle of life strictly followed. It's the food chain with the lion on the absolute top of it. So, in Mufasa's words, to be king is to keep lions on the supreme top of the chain.
Example of a pride's success
Mufasa was a divinely rightful king. The cosmos is composed of his ancestor spirits and the skies let the sun shine on a prince in birth. The divine right dictated the natural order of things where the lions are the top and the hyenas are the pile of giraffe $#&%. A good king must assure that nothing changes.
It was so natural for him that Scar's hatred and grudge towards him over being excluded has completely surprised him. His fucking face to see that he's going to be sentenced to death by Scar's grudge and jealousy is all but priceless.
It was so natural for him that Scar's hatred and grudge towards him over being excluded has completely surprised him. His fucking face to see that he's going to be sentenced to death by Scar's grudge and jealousy is all but priceless.
It wasn't until the stampede that it just hit poor Muffy over how most loathed by Scar he was.
It wasn't too weird and bizarre, considering Disney's politically-correct and family-friendly fetish that have always haunted Uncle Walt's good name.
Apart of this, I still find this movie one of Disney's finest. Simba's coming-of-age and his duty of taking his responsibility is excelent. The comedic moments are hilarious and the dramatic ones are stronger.
The scene of Mufasa in the skies talking with Simba is no more than priceless.
As for the rest, it was curious how it was relevant for the DTV sequel The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride which featured a bunch of lionesses who used to be on Scar's side. Watch the original again and again and it'll be obvious that absolutely NO lioness used to be on Scar's side.
Please, where were those cool big kitties who were supposed to fight alongside Scar and his hyena army in the climax?
Easily the best plothole in a Disney sequel.
I'll finish this post with my opinion: the film could have a even more happy ending with Simba and Nala living with Timon and Pumbaa in the jungle as an hippie community and Scar turning the pride into a democracy. Preferably ellecting not a lion but just a random animal as the chosen one to rule the Pridelands wisely with more perspective of the things.
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