Special thanks to Pokejedservo for additional dialogue.
Chapter 7: Arnold Saves the Neighborhood...Again!
The Nicktoons have arrived on Hillwood.
“It’s very good to be home.” Arnold said.
“This place looks as amazing as ever.” Lincoln said.
“Good times.” Luna said, singing.
“So this is New Jersey.” Leni said.
“Hey Arnold, where’s your house?” Jimmy asked.
“Sunset Arms. We’re in the front of this building.” Arnold replied.
The heroes entered the Sunset Arms boarding house and headed to Arnold’s room.
“Wow! Your place is awesome!” Michelangelo hollered.
“We absolutely love this place!” Lynn hollered.
“Absolutely!” Lana hollered.
“Totally!” Lola hollered.
“You have a totally awesome stereo system here, brah!” Luna hollered.
“Excellent! A good old SGI workstation used to make cartoons, video games and special effects!” Lisa hollered, squeeing.
“Hey Arnold! Hey Arnold!...” Arnold’s clock ringed, with Lily happily babbling on it and clapping hands.
“Literally, your cellphone is hardcore.” Lori commented.
“Big Bob is the finest cellphone tycoon in this city.” Arnold explained.
“HEY ARNOLD! Your bro Gerald is here waiting you in the door!” Grandpa Phil hollered.
“Hi, Grandpa.” Arnold greeted.
“And who are these people?” Grandpa asked.
“My friends from other worlds.” Arnold replied.
“I see. Some of them are so familiar.” Grandpa commented.
“Welcome, strangers!” Grandma Gertie hollered.
“Grandma, I’m hanging out with Gerald. My new friends are coming with me.” Arnold said.
“Hey Arnold.” Miles said.
“Hi, sweetie.” Stella said.
“Humina-humina-humina! The great adventurer Miles Shortman, Arnold’s daddy!” Lana hollered, squeeing and panting in excitement.
“And his wife Stella Shortman!” Lisa hollered, also squeeing.
“So you kids are fans of our work.” Miles commented.
“That’s because I’m an exotic animal enthusiast.” Lana explained.
“And your scientific skills are my inspiration.” Lisa explained.
“Thank you, kids. We know you appreciate our work.” Stella commented.
Abner the pig hopped into Arnold’s arms.
“This is my mascot.” Arnold said, introducing his pet pig to the Nicktoons.
“Squeee!” Abner hollered.
“Ribbit!” Hops hollered.
“Hey, it’s Hops! It’s my pet frog. He’s always under my cap.” Lana explained, introducing Hops to the team.
“Meow!” Gary hollered.
“Woof woof!” Spike hollered.
“Eeeh oooh uhhhh ahhhh ehhhrrr!” Bongo hollered.
“Mom, dad. I’ll meet Gerald outside and my new friends are with me.” Arnold said.
“Good luck, son.” Miles said.
“Be careful, my baby.” Stella said.
“Bye mom! Bye dad!” Arnold hollered.
“That Arnold is a good man and his mommy still sees him as a baby, get it?” Luan asked, laughing only to have her foot stomped by Lori in annoyance, unleashing an farting sound effect.
“Luan, don’t you start it.” Lori hissed.
“I wasn’t laughing at Arnold. I was just laughing at your fart, Lori. And this time it’s just your shoe.” Luan explained, still laughing.
“See, everyone? I only fart because of my shoes.” Lori explained, now in her most sincere.
Arnold opened the door, unleashing a stampede of several house pets. Arnold and Gerald greeted each other with their signature handshake.
“Hey Arnold, are you ready for the next game?” Gerald asked.
“Yeah. I’m taking those new multidimensional friends of mine with me.” Arnold replied.
“I’ve never seen them before. Some of them are very familiar.” Gerald said.
“Hello, you’re not the only token sassy black kid in the team.” Clyde explained.
Arnold, Gerald and the Nicktoons went to the Central Park for a baseball match, only to find in shock and horror Arnold’s classmates into menacing hypnosis.
“Helga! Phoebe! Harold! Rhonda! Sid! Stinky! Nadine! Sheena! Eugene! Curly! Brainy!” Arnold hollered.
“Must thrash...” Helga said.
“Football head!” All of Arnold’s friends hollered in unison.
“They’re being manipulated by the excarders!” Lincoln hollered.
“We need to save them!” Arnold hollered.
“Don’t worry, mate. They won’t get really hurt.” Rocko said.
“Anyway, let’s get into business!” Jimmy hollered.
Therefore, the Nicktoons engaged in battle again. However, despite emerging victorious, both Arnold and Lincoln still seem to have some problems with Helga.
“Slay football-head! Slay football-head!” Helga hollered.
“I tell you Arnold, your girl in this state is even worse than my meanest sisters.” Lincoln commented.
“She wouldn’t mean any harm to me. Not the girl I know and love.” Arnold explained.
Luna, Lynn and Lana rushed to help her brother and Arnold.
“Dude! What you’re doing is sick, twisted and cruel! Leave those poor kids alone!” Luna hollered.
“Hurt our brother and you’ll see how mean I truly am!” Lynn hollered.
“Feel the pain of my wrench!” Lana hollered.
Helga simply tossed the three Loud tomboys away.
“Lana! Lynn! Luna!” Lincoln hollered, rushing towards his sisters.
“The excarders made Helga stronger than me! The only recourse left is...” Arnold said, kissing Helga.
The excarder could control Helga no more and flew away. A restored Helga sighed happily.
“Way to look at the bright side, football head!” Tak hollered.
“Dude, your act of true love is cool!” Luna hollered.
“Awww...this is even more literally sweet.” Lori commented.
“Oh my gosh! Totes!” Leni hollered.
Arnold and Helga noticed that the heroes were staring at them and Helga quickly slapped Arnold angrily.
“What on earth do you think you were doing, football head?” Helga asked.
“I was just trying to save you...” Arnold explained.
“Helga? What happened?” Phoebe asked.
“Oooooooooowwwwww... my head... I want my mommy...” Harold groaned.
“Hey Arnold! What really happened? Stinky asked.
“You were all under evil mind control.” Arnold replied.
“Anyway, are you guys still ready to play?” Gerald asked.
“Our bodies are still abnormal, but our minds are okay.” Eugene replied.
Suddenly, Wolfgang and his gang of bullies showed off.
“Hey Arnold! Looks like your buddies seem screwed up.” Wolfgang said.
“Their bodies aren’t on their best days, but their minds and hearts are very strong.” Arnold said.
“Good. Let’s see how are they prepared to win this!” Wolfgang replied, showing the key.
“My key!” Arnold hollered.
“Of course! When I give this to Alzarax, he’ll surely wedge you guys off.” Wolfgang gloated.
“If I ever win fair and square, that key is mine. We’ll be in this game.” Arnold said.
“Consider this challenge accepted!” Wolfgang hollered.
Later, a big game has taken place in the Quigley Stadium loaded with many Hillwood citizens. Luna and Luan served as the game announcers.
“Well, it’s a beautiful day at Hillwood. Isn't it, dude?” Luna asked.
“Sure it is, Luna!” Luan replied.
“This game is brought to you by Flip’s Food & Fuel, home of the most delicious Flippies always open the whole year except for fishing season; Good Burger, home of the good burger; Reptarland, better than Disneyland and Universal Studios together; Log from Blammo!, it’s log! Log! Log!; The Fatheads Movie, coming soon on cinemas everywhere both in 2D and 3D; and Yahoo Soda, just drink it!” Luna hollered, announcing the game sponsorship.
“Hey look! It’s the challengers: Wolfgang and his evil bully gang! They’ve crushed so many teams with absolutely no remorse! Those monsters!” Luan hollered, as Wolfgang’s team enters the field.
“Bad to the bone!” Luna hollered.
“And now we have our champions! Our beloved football head and his amazing champion team! Hey Arnold!” Luan hollered.
“Arnold! Arnold! Arnold! Arnold!...” The crowd chanted continuously.
“This time, they’ve got new blood: our star pitching sister Lynn ‘LJ’ Loud, baby! And acting as Arnold’s coach here comes our kind, rocking, fashionable, funny, tough, deep, friendly and smart dang brother. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, dudes and dudettes, mein damen und herren, medames et messieurs, damas y caballeros, senhoras e senhores, minasama, nushímen xiānshēngmen, ghehveerohtahee vehrahbohtahee, signore e signori, dámy a pánové, damy i gospoda, damer og herre, dames en heren, damer och herrar, bayanlar ve baylar, sayadati wasadati, sinsa sugnyeo yeoleobun... here comes Lincoln LOOOOOOUUUUUUD!!!!!” Luna yelled as Lincoln entered the field much to the crowd’s cheering.
Lynn waved to the people and the Nicktoons and they all rooted for her. She then started doing some things to prepare for her pitch. She lifted her leg, turned her cap, tossed some dirt over her shoulder, and patted her right cheek.
"Our sis is performing her signature good luck rituals." Luan commented.
"Hutta-hut! Hutta-hut! Hutta-hut!" Lynn hollered, performing her Cossack dance.
"Yo sis, do you believe there's anything to these kinds of superstitions?" Luna asked.
“It’s a mystery. Or rather...mastery?” Luan asked, laughing.
"Well, here's the windup and the pitch." Luna said.
Lynn wound up and pitched, but the opposing batter slammed it out of the field.
"Ooh! Looks like the softball gods did not love that Cossack dance." Luan whined.
Soon enough, Wolfgang and his cronies hit the ball each time, thus beating Arnold and friends.
“Hated that Cossack dance." Luan hissed.
"DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, SIS! YOU’LL TURN THE TABLES ON THE SECOND TIME!” Luna hollered.
End of the first time. Arnold, Lincoln, Lynn and their team are getting extremely nervous.
“Lynn! What’s happening to you? We’re losing this game badly!” Lincoln asked.
“You wanna know what’s the problem? That wretched football-head buffoon who acts more like a goody-two-shoes do-gooder walking wisdom machine than a true player! Everybody treats him like a mighty whitey messiah and I get absolutely NO respect!” Lynn replied, furiously.
“Don’t talk about football-head like this, you bully! Only I can do this so I can conceal my true feelings for him!” Helga hollered.
“Did you just call me a bully? Look, I may be a bit rough on my little brother sometimes, but I love him with all my heart ever since he was first born. As for you, you’ve always acted worse than Hitler absolutely because unlike me and my brother who not only have a happy and loving family but we’re both a very caring family, YOU!!!! ABSOLUTELY!!!!! HAVE!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! FAMILY!!!!!!!” Lynn roared at the top of her lungs, causing Helga to furiously snap. Both girls began brawling viciously only to be stopped by Arnold and Lincoln by force.
“Look Helga, you’re absolutely making a stupid idiot out of yourself. Just because your parents never loved you doesn’t mean you have to be like this. I’ve helped you look at the bright side and you need to be more empathetic if you wish to be loved by the world that already treats you cruelly and unfairly. So please, let go of your negative emotions. You’re not the Helga me and Phoebe know and love the best.” Arnold explained.
“Lynn, I know that you’re failing miserably, but taking your failures on the others won’t make you any better. It’ll only worsen what has been already unfair for us all. You and Helga better apologize for your equally retarded behavior and our team can easily win through the power of teamwork.” Lincoln explained.
“Helga, I’m sorry for my lack of empathy and humility. I’ve known that your family life has been cruel and mean to you. And my first day at middle school wasn’t any good either.” Lynn explained.
“Save your apologies for the end. We need to work together as a true team so we can make Wolfgang and his team pay.” Helga explained.
Cue to the second time as both teams return to the field.
"Talk about bad luck. Everything is going wrong with Arnold’s team today. What do you think, sis?" Luan asked.
“Poor kids. Just look at them.” Luna replied.
Arnold took a swing and flung himself into the umpire and the bat hit his helmet. Sid and Stinky collided into each other and missed the catch. Brainy tossed the bat right at Lincoln by accident. Lynn pitched and the opposing batter hit the ball right back her, knocking her socks, shoes, and hat off and making her spin in mid-air before landing on the ground. Luna hung her head in defeat, burying her face in her pillow as she let out a moaning groan. The score showed Wolfgang’s bullies: 3, Arnold’s gang: nothing.
"Two outs in the bottom of the ninth, and the bases are loaded. Lynn Loud steps up to the plate, but with the luck she's been having today, football head’s gang is looking a whole lot like roadkill." Luan said.
"The windup, the pitch." Luna said.
Lynn swung and missed.
“Strike one!” The umpire hollered.
Lynn swung and missed again.
“Strike two!” The umpire hollered.
“And the pitch!” Luan hollered.
The sound of the ball getting hit by the bat was heard and the rest of Arnold’s team ran the remaining bases.
"It's going...it's going...IT'S GONE!!! LYNN LOUD HITS A GRAND SLAM!!! FOOTBALL HEAD WINS!!! FOOTBALL HEAD WINS!!!!" Luan hollered.
The Nicktoons cheered for Lynn as she made her run around the field.
“FOOTBALL HEAD WINS!!! FOOTBALL HEAD WINS!!!! STAGE DIVE!!!!!” Luna yelled, jumping at Luan and crushing her bones.
Lynn finished her run and was picked up by the heroes in celebration of her victory.
"CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ROCKED IT, LYNN-SANITY!" The Nicktoons hollered in unison.
“Wow! You beat us all fair and square. Next time you won’t be this lucky.” Wolfgang said, giving Arnold his key.
“This is real teamwork.” Arnold said.
“You’re a bold kid, football head.” Helga commented.
“Hey Arnold, who is this Alzarax?” Phoebe asked.
“Someone worse than La Sombra and Von Scheck combined.” Arnold replied.
“Oh no...” Phoebe said.
“And we’re fighting Nintendo hard to make sure he won’t get away with your mass destruction by gathering as many heroes as possible.” Jimmy explained.
“Make sure you won’t leave us out, Arnoldo.” Helga said.
“Are you sure you’re doing the right thing?” Arnold asked.
“Of course, Arnold. We’re BFFs and it’ll take more than Alzarax’s massive army to tear us apart.” Phoebe replied.
“Face it, Arnold. Phoebe’s one of the most intelligent people we’ve ever known. There’s even her exceptionally keen skill in swordplay and knows how to strike fiercely and swift.” Gerald explained.
“Well, you wouldn’t easily defeat Alzarax without me. So...” Arnold said.
“Yes!” Gerald and Phoebe hollered in unison.
“So, which world should we jump to next?” Tak asked.
“Let’s flip a coin. Heads, my world, Republic City.” Korra said.
“Or tails, one of ours.” Raphael said.
Korra started to flip the coin.
“Come on, heads!” Korra hollered.
“Tails!” The Nicktoons hollered in unison.
Korra caught the coin.
“It’s tails. Bummer.” Korra said.
“Then let’s go to New York, our version!” Leonardo said.
“Your New York better be good as mine.” Ickis said.
A portal appeared. The Nicktoons went inside it, heading towards New York City, home of the Turtles.
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