Special thanks to MrAnimatedToon and That Engineer for additional dialogue.
Chapter 20: Grand Tour of Retroville!
The Nicktoons have arrived in Retroville.
“I never thought I would come across Retroville again.” Timmy said.
“Smells the same though.” Cosmo said.
“And still bulgy as ever.” Wanda said.
“This does feel a bit weird.” Tommy said.
“Yeah, this place has all the warmth of a Dick Clark special.” Ruth said.
Jimmy took out his tracker.
“My key should be near. My tracker is off-track for some reason.” Jimmy explained.
“Maybe it needs a new battery.” Timmy said.
“No it doesn’t. So help me. I’d actually pound you right now, Timmy.” Jimmy said.
Then, Jimmy’s robotic pet dog Goddard was seen hovering in the sky.
“Hey! It’s Goddard!” Timmy hollered.
“Goddard!” SpongeBob hollered.
“Long time no see, Goddard!” Danny hollered.
Goddard came to his owner and creator.
“What is it, boy?” Jimmy asked.
“Screens up!” Lisa hollered.
Goddard opened up his chest.
“Something took hold of friends. By an unknown source.” Jimmy said, reading over the text.
“All this technology still can’t explain why David Hasselhoff is still badass.” Lynn commented.
“That could mean...” Jimmy said.
“In English please...” Korra said.
“It means that his friends are controlled by the Excarders.” Donatello explained.
“Exactly.” Jimmy said.
Jimmy’s friends Carl Wheezer, Sheen Estevez, Cindy Vortex and Libby Folfax appeared in a lost trance.
“Guys!” Jimmy hollered.
“Wait. How did Sheen go back to Retroville?” Timmy asked.
“Obi-Wan has taught him well.” Lisa replied.
“Oh yeah. That’s right.” Timmy said.
“Jimmy.” Carl and Sheen said in unison.
“Big head Jimmy.” Libby said.
Libby tried to attack Jimmy, but he dodged instantly on Goddard.
“Neutron!” Cindy hollered.
“Hey Cindy, it’s me, Timmy!” Timmy hollered.
Cindy ignored Timmy as she threw him overboard.
“Whoa. So intense. Awesome!” Timmy said.
“I don’t get it. My friends aren’t coming to their senses.” Jimmy explained.
“Well, the only way to snap them out of it is beating the smack out of them!” Danny hollered.
“Danny’s right. After all, they’re victims.” SpongeBob said.
“By making this a running gag it seems.” Patrick said.
Therefore, Jimmy became very reluctant but joined his interdimensional pals to fight off his own.
“Gee, I hate to be the first person that had to box out Cindy. Sorry if I said that out loud.” Timmy said.
Cindy began to smack Timmy around.
“She really does love me!” Timmy hollered.
“I just don’t understand. Nothing we do seem to work.” Jimmy explained.
“Guys, Tron never worked once. It won’t work twice!” Lisa hollered.
Then, Jimmy observed the switch on his Neutron Flare.
“I really got to get to speed with my memory these days.” Jimmy said.
Jimmy began to reverse the switch on his Neutron Flare as the Excarder effect began to wear off within a second. All of Jimmy’s friends returned to normal.
“So ditzy...” Sheen said.
“My head...” Carl said.
“What happened to us...?” Libby asked.
“Neutron! It’s about time you showed up!” Cindy hollered.
“Yeah, it’s great to see you too, Cindy.” Jimmy said, sounding very annoyed.
“Well, I AM really happy to see YOU, Timmy!” Cindy hollered, hugging Timmy.
Timmy was blushing like crazy. Jimmy became really super jealous.
“Jimmy, I think I remembered something...” Carl explained.
“You do, Carl?” Jimmy asked.
“Yeah, I think that Professor Calamitous might have done the flipping on us...” Carl replied.
“And Beautiful Gorgeous was there too!” Sheen hollered.
“So she survived in space.” Jimmy said.
“Eustace Strych was there too.” Libby explained.
“And last but not least: Goobot!” Cindy hollered.
“Jimmy, you really have a lot of enemies.” Tak explained.
“Then, I guess we have to find where they’re hiding. To my lab!” Jimmy hollered.
Therefore, the gang along with Jimmy’s friends headed to the clubhouse.
“Okay. Hopefully the lab won’t be too crowded.” Jimmy said.
“Well, it’s going to be.” Cindy said.
Jimmy took our a piece of his hair as he scanned it on VOX.
“Scan recognized. Welcome back, James.” VOX said.
“Thank you, VOX.” Jimmy said.
The clubhouse began to open.
“I feel like I’m in ‘The Wiz’!” Clyde hollered.
“Dibs!” Michelangelo hollered.
Mikey jumped inside and broke his spine in the process.
“I think I broke my spine.” Michelangelo said.
“You had it coming, Mikey.” Raphael said.
“Uh, we’ll take the safer way to my lab. Like here.” Jimmy said.
The Nicktoons went underground to Jimmy’s lab. However it became too crowded as Jimmy had predicted.
“Rudy!” Penny hollered.
“I can’t feel my legs!” Korra hollered.
“Who’s squashing mine?” Bolin asked.
“It’s me. My bad.” Heffer replied.
“Get your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!” Lori hollered.
“Darwin, come back here!” Eliza hollered.
“Give me some sugar!” Curly hollered.
“I don’t know why I put up with you sometimes!” Ren hollered.
“We’ll manage somehow. I hope.” Jimmy explained.
After getting awkwardly squashed together, the group made it inside Jimmy’s lab.
“What’s this? Leftovers from ‘Deep Space 9’?” Lisa asked.
“All this technology so you guys can hear Tupac Shakur?” Sam Sharp asked.
“Coming soon: ‘The Wizard of Oz 2050’!” Henry hollered.
“Hmmm... www.neopets.com! Oh joy!” Stimpy hollered.
“How did I get into Steve Job’s mind?” Clyde asked.
“This is like an all-nighter at Richard Simmons’ house.” Lynn commented.
“The only thing this place doesn’t have is a baby gap.” Angelica said.
“Ehhh! I should have become a Maytag repair woman!” Lana hollered.
“Lady, I don’t know who wired this for you, but none of this stuff is grounded.” Ickis said.
“So fascinating! These are yours, Jimmy?” Donatello asked.
“Yup. They’re pretty amazing, right?” Jimmy asked.
“I’ll say!” Donatello replied.
“Geez, it’s like a Nerdtron-Con.” Cindy said.
“Okay, let’s point the coordinates to Calamitous’ hideout.” Jimmy explained, navigating on his PC.
A picture of Mt. Everest appeared on the screen.
“That’s his hideout?” Frida asked.
“It’s like a cave.” El Tigre explained.
“Or a fraud of Volcano Island.” Leonardo explained.
“Goldfinger’s fortress, this is not.” Luna explained.
“Guys, let’s pay the professor a visit.” Jimmy said.
“You’re joking, right?” Korra asked.
“But first...” Jimmy said, handing Carl a baseball bat, a blaster for Sheen and a styling whip for Libby.
“Cool! A blaster!” Sheen hollered.
“Seriously? A whip?” Libby asked.
“Guess I’m the lucky one.” Cindy explained.
“But are you sure you’re okay with us using these, Jim?” Carl asked.
“Positive.” Jimmy replied.
“Now let’s give the professor a little serving of teamwork.” Jimmy explained.
Therefore, the gang venture off to Calamitous’ hideout.
“You think he would’ve closed the doors once we got here.” April explained.
“This guy is a real joke.” Casey said.
“At least we can enter without any problem.” Debbie explained.
“True enough.” Casey said.
The gang went inside.
“We’re on the road to nowhere!” Luna hollered, singing.
“Be quiet! I’m hunting some rabbits!” Lana hollered.
While stumbling along, the heroes found something interesting.
“Hey guys. Look at this.” Mako said.
“Whoa.” Bolin said.
“It’s a tablet regarding the information of the Excarders.” Nadine explained.
“The evidence is overwhelming... I’m not wearing pants.” Stimpy said.
“Pretty cool to see, right, señorita?” El Tigre asked.
Korra simply rolled her eyes.
“Watch It.” Mako said.
“According to the tablet, the Excarders are from an unknown alien source that was created by Alzarax.” Jimmy explained.
“My Loud senses are tingling!” Lincoln hollered.
“But...how...?” Jimmy asked.
“Glad you found out, Neutron.” Professor Calamitous replied.
The heroes trended around and found many of Jimmy’s worst enemies.
“Calamitous!” Jimmy hollered.
“Beautiful Gorgeous! Hi!” Carl hollered.
“Over here, BG!” Sheen hollered.
“Squeeze off.” Beautiful Gorgeous said.
“I guess you heard about our allegiance to Alzarax, Neutron?” Eustace Strych asked.
“Just now! And I can’t believe all of you would stoop that low!” Jimmy replied.
“We’re bad guys. It’s what we do.” Beautiful Gorgeous explained.
“Plus, we have the bigger advantage than you do, Neutron!” King Goobot hollered.
“Alzarax needs...needs...” Professor Calamitous pondered.
“Maximum power, father?” Beautiful Gorgeous asked.
“That’s right, maximum power! With that, he can provide...provide...” Calamitous pondered.
“World domination...?” Goobot asked.
“World domination!” Calamitous replied.
“Also, we have your key to give it to him.” Eustace explained, showing Jimmy his key.
“You better give that to me! Who knows what power Alzarax could put on it?” Jimmy asked.
“For world domination! Get your brain fixed!” Eustace replied.
“FYI, Strych, it does NOT need a fix!” Jimmy hollered.
“Alright, enough smooth talk! Prepare to finally get your large head and brain squashed, Neutron!” Goobot hollered.
Calamitous jumped inside a giant cyclone machine. Eustace went inside a giant mechanical bug. Goobot took out a large blaster cannon. Gorgeous did some reflexes.
“You might deal with your mentor crab too.” Calamitous explained, showing a now-controlled Wise Old Crab.
“Great gumballs!” Rudy, Penny and Snap hollered in unison.
“Oh no! The Wise Old Crab!” Jimmy hollered.
“NO! No, you didn’t! You’ve cut up his brain, you bunch of bloody baboons!” Lana hollered, upset.
“Don’t worry, Shelly! We’ll bring you back!” SpongeBob hollered.
“I’M GONNA KILL ALL OF YOU RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW WITH MY SIX FUCKING WAX STRINGS, YOU EVIL, CRUEL, HEARTLESS, $#&+-EATING MOTHERF%€£ERS!!!” Luna roared, filling her eyes, fuming red and foaming with pure rage.
The Loud kids and Sam Sharp’s gang froze in shock and fear. They had never seen Luna this furious before, even more furious than she was when she started the family band.
“For the old hermit crab!” Bolin hollered.
“And pizza!” Michelangelo hollered.
The team looked at Michelangelo.
“Now it’s not the time to think about pizza!” Leonardo hollered.
“Yeah! Last time we got the last slice, we fought each other like animals.” Lincoln explained.
“This is for the SWAT Kats!” Lynn hollered.
Therefore, the team began to battle with Jimmy’s greatest enemies and was on the verge of winning as there would be a conclusion.
“This is for 22 years of ‘Titanic’!” Luan hollered.
“We’re winning!” SpongeBob hollered.
“Not yet.” Raphael said.
“We’ll be sure to win, if you don’t mind.” Eustace said.
The villains were getting the upper hand as the mindless Wise Old Crab began to attack some of the heroes.
“Old hermit crab! Snap out of it!” Dib hollered.
“Personally, I like this crab being mindless way better.” Zim explained.
“Not helping.” Asami said.
“I don’t like hurting animals, not even when being pure evil!” Eliza hollered.
“Loved ya in ‘Terminator Genisys’!” Lisa hollered.
“You never knocked me down!” Lynn hollered.
Then, the old hermit crab began to twitch.
“Old hermit crab?” Donatello asked.
The Wise Old Crab then raises his staff as a miracle began to surface.
“You nitwits are NOT my superior!” The Wise Old Crab hollered.
“Is he actually defying us?” Eustace asked.
“He’s using his own will to break free!” Goobot hollered.
“Heroes, arrive!” The old hermit crab hollered.
Jenny Wakeman, along with Danny’s cousin Danielle, Ronnie Anne Santiago and her friend Sid Chang, and Agent Xero and Mole appeared from a portal as they began to take charge.
“Danielle!” Danny hollered.
“Great to see you, DF!” Danielle hollered.
“And who are the other five?” Timmy asked.
“Eat laser, losers!” Jenny hollered.
Jenny blasted on Goobot and Eustace with her many lasers. Dani began to spin them around the ground. Ronnie Anne began to skate around Calamitous.
“Hope you’re ready for some trashing!” Ronnie Anne hollered.
Ronnie Anne leaped on Calamitous’ cyclone machine, scratching it in the process.
“My machine!” Calamitous hollered.
Agent Xero took a few discs.
“Time for teach someone some manners!” Agent Xero hollered.
“No problem!” Mole hollered.
Agent Xero and Mole three many discs at Beautiful Gorgeous.
“My hair! My beautiful hair!” Beautiful Gorgeous hollered.
Jimmy’s enemies were finally defeated.
“Why, you maniacs! You blew everything up! Damn you all! Just damn you all to hell!” Goobot hollered.
“And now the icing and the cherry of the cake.” Sid Chang said, pouring a flood of tar on Jimmy’s enemies and lots of bird feathers on them.
Ronnie Anne and Sid Chang bursted into laughter at Jimmy’s enemies’ humiliating comeuppance.
“And we all know who gets the key.” Jimmy said, taking the key from Eustace.
“We’re not done with you, Neutron!” Eustace hollered.
“Or your group of friends!” Beautiful Gorgeous hollered.
“Soon, you’ll be getting the last laugh!” Goobot hollered.
“Alzarax will...will...” Calamitous pondered.
“Win...?” Eustace asked.
“Win!” Calamitous replied.
Therefore, the fearsome four retreated for now. The Wise Old Crab eventually went back to normal.
“Wise Old Crab.” Tak said.
“You’re okay.” Frida said.
“I had this weird dream where I was being controlled against my own will.” The Wise Old Crab explained.
“It wasn’t a dream.” Phoebe said.
“Hi. I’m from Jehova’s Witnesses.” Leni said.
“That was so awesome! The way we took down those chumps!” Jenny hollered.
“Did you see their reactions? Priceless!” Dani hollered.
“Nice performance on kicking butt, Ms. Xero.” Mole said.
“Right back at you, Mole.” Agent Xero said.
“Did you just see the prank we pulled on them? Unforgettable!” Sid Chang hollered.
“Wait until Lincoln ‘Lame-O’ Loud sees what we’ve just done.” Ronnie Anne said.
“Hey, thanks a lot for helping us back there.” Korra said.
“No problem. We’re heroes. We have to watch each other’s back 24/7.” Jenny explained.
“Guys, meet my cousin, Danielle Fenton. She’s a half ghost just like yours truly.” Danny said, introducing Dani to his friends.
“It’s an honor of meeting all of you. Can’t wait to fight alongside you.” Dani said.
“Bring out your dead!” Oblina hollered.
“My name’s XJ9. But you can call me Jenny.” Jenny said, introducing herself to her fellow teammates.
“Have we met before...?” Jimmy asked.
Then, Jenny began to laugh a bit.
“I don’t think so. Actually, I don’t really recall if we met in any case... But hey, this is my first time meeting all of you.” Jenny replied.
“Ronnie Anne? What brings you here?” Lincoln asked.
“Duh, the old hermit crab summoned me to take care of you and your ten sisters, lame-o. But anyway, it’s a pleasure to meet everyone else.” Ronnie Anne replied, introducing herself to her new teammates.
“And as I learned of her news about Alzarax and your war against him and his evil empire, I decided to tag along. I just couldn’t leave anyone in hand. And this is Sid Chang for you, guys.” Sid Chang explained, introducing herself to the heroes.
“I’m Agent Xero and this is my sidekick Mole!” Agent Xero hollered, introducing herself and Mole to their new friends.
“Hi!” Mole hollered.
“How did you know that we’re in trouble...? I mean, not that I’m curious or anything.” Patrick said.
“Well, it was the old hermit crab’s own free will that summoned us.” Jenny replied.
“Neutron, bring us to speed!” Cindy hollered.
“Okay, fine! Alzarax is a supernatural being of unknown origins who’s bent on destroying the entire world.” Jimmy explained.
“Whoa. Sounds cool!” Sheen said.
“Not cool! He sounds scary!” Carl hollered.
“We were brought on because of that.” Agent Xero explained.
“We’re gathering up a large army in order to take on Alzarax.” Jimmy explained.
“Of course we’ll help, Jim.” Carl said.
“B-but I didn’t say anything...” Jimmy said.
“We’re going to kick some serious butt! And defeating this guy will be awesome!” Sheen hollered.
“Think of this as a return present.” Libby said.
“Plus, we owed you anyways.” Cindy said.
“Thank you, guys.” Jimmy said.
“Time to head back to Volcano Island.” The Wise Old Crab said.
A portal appeared. The Nicktoons along with the old hermit crab stepped foot inside, heading back to Volcano Island.
“Whoa! This lair is so cool!” Jenny hollered.
“I love this place.” Ronnie Anne said.
“Wow!” Agent Xero and Mole hollered in unison.
“Awesome!” Sheen hollered.
“Yeah. It gets even cooler by looking at it.” Karai said.
“We have plenty of keys. 15 to be exact. I say that we’re a mile close in finding Alzarax.” Jimmy explained.
Then, Plankton appeared out of nowhere.
“Surprise!” Plankton hollered.
“Plankton?” SpongeBob and Patrick asked in unison.
“Bet you’re wondering how I survived space?” Plankton asked.
“No, not really.” Danny replied.
“Wow, what a buzz kill. Anyway, I heard about the keys and...” Plankton said.
“Oh no, you didn’t...” Ren said.
“Ka-clunk!” Plankton hollered, taking the keys from the Loud kids, Rocko, Korra, Ickis, the Beavers, CatDog, Ren/Stimpy and El Tigre.
“Crikey!” Rocko hollered.
“Dude! What’s the problem with you?!” Luna asked, irritated.
“So these are the keys Alzarax was so crazy about? Can’t wait to give them to him!” Plankton said.
“Give them back, you thief!” El Tigre hollered.
“I’ll stomp your small body really hard!” Korra hollered.
“My yard, my property!” Dagget hollered.
“That’s Mr. Grouse’s catchphrase.” Lincoln explained.
“Oh.” Dagget said.
“Don’t take me lightly...I’m your worst nightmare.” Ickis hissed.
Dog started growling.
“Give me one good reason why I don’t wanna eat you.” Cat said.
“Hey come on, little guy. You only need to learn to share.” Stimpy explained.
“Seriously, Plankton. Just give them back and we’ll have no problems.” Timmy explained.
“I’m afraid I can’t do that. You’ll have to track me down to get them back. I got the keys! I got the keys! Go, Plankton! Go, Plankton! It’s your birthday!” Plankton hollered, hoeing off his anus to the heroes who went rather irritated.
“YOU FILTHY SWINE!!! I’LL KILL YOU!!!” Ren roared.
Plankton began to laugh like an hyena and brought up a portal.
“Later, chumps!” Plankton hollered, laughing like the Joker as he left.
“That Plankton is such a jerk. Literally.” Sparky said.
“Wish we could somehow pay that insignificant little insect back for his lack of humility!” George hollered.
“I’m going to make him suffer for this! Actually, on second thought, you should kick his asshole, Linky!” Lola gritted her teeth, glancing at Lincoln.
“Yeah! That would be awesome! Shove some booger and pus in his mouth too!” Lana piped up.
“But where’s he heading off to?” Leonardo asked.
“Don’t worry, I got it covered.” Jimmy replied.
Jimmy began to search the database on the giant monitor.
“Bikini Bottom.” Jimmy said.
“Isn’t that the world of SpongeBob and Patrick?” Tak asked.
“Yep.” Danny replied.
Gary slithered into SpongeBob a forehead.
“Meow.” Gary said.
“We can save Squidward and Mr. Krabs from the Excarders!” SpongeBob hollered.
“And probably cleanse out everything too.” Patrick said.
“Let’s go to Bikini Bottom, guys!” SpongeBob hollered.
“Right!” The heroes hollered in unison.
Another portal has arrived. The Nicktoons raced inside it, heading towards Bikini Bottom, the home of SpongeBob and Patrick. The portal closed afterwards.
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